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Y is TEXAN, Y'ALL!!!!!. Loves to play the drums, and usually hang out with musicians. This user is a purple-spleened administrator and messing with him/her could result in a ban. Knight Commander of the Order gobshite noob UOTM. ROTFL. (Full article...)

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Did you know... [edit]

... if you are right brained or left brained? (Pictured)

... that applause was invented to mock the deaf?
... that you can get great deals on Vietnamese clothing imports if you buy now?
... that in 2001 George W. Bush passed the No Child Left Behind Act, which forbids soldiers in Iraq from leaving their children behind?
... that I just had sex, and hey do you got any napkins?
... that condoms prevent many sexually transmitted diseases, and at least one erection? Sorry Candace...
... that within a few weeks of being held in captivity dolphins are able to train humans to stand at the side of a pool and throw them fish?
... that the song "Harder Better Faster Stronger" by Daft Punk is a giant "That's what she said" joke?

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In the news [edit]

D.C. stink-bombed by Jihadists and Nazis
Colombia Protests Exclusion from Eurovision; Britney Joins in Support (Pictured)
Ship captain who wrecked Baltimore bridge defeated by Upstate New York bridge
NFL imposes speed limit and bans trick plays
Forecast calls for a leapin' Lousy Smarch weather
Larry David gets Hinkled by Anti-Israel Protesters
Taylor Swift's favorite NFL team wins rigged Super Bowl, big whoop
Elon Musk plants brain chip into first human guinea pig
Climate activists ruin Jackson Pollock painting, no one notices
Stalemate in Ukraine: Zelenskyy flees for greener pastures
Steamboat Willie enters public domain, several Mickey Mouse horror films and games announced
Santa's Elves on strike
UnNews finally able to write obituaries for Shaft, Bull and Chandler
Will Barbenheimer beat JigSaw in his own game?

Ongoing: Russian Invasion · Eurovision
Recent deaths: Akira Toriyama · M. Emmet Walsh · Louis Gossett Jr. · Hype around the eclipse · O. J. Simpson
Upcoming deaths: Kris Kristofferson · Jimmy Carter · Vladimir Putin · The U.S. Federal Budget · Richard Simmons · Kate Middleton · Market demand for White Broncos · God's curse on the Buffalo Bills (..maybe)

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On this day [edit]

May 8: National Bad Hair Day (Estonia)

1359 - Pantaloons invented, could dainty wooden clogs be far behind?
1778 - Pampered aristocracy of Western Europe first stitch curly lapdogs to their scalp. (Pictured)
1914 - Errors in year length calculations result in three months of 1913 repeated.
1919 - Warren G. Harding molests his index finger before turning the page.
1924 - Holy 26th Crusade to Monterey, California is unsuccesful because of wrong navigation and ends up in Rio de Janeiro.
1945 - V-E Day, victory in Europe: France unconditionally surrenders to US troops, paving the way for the construction of EuroDisney.
1982 - Abolition of the fixed turnip/gold exchange rate endorsed by American government.
1989 - Bay City Rollers declare: "We're still mad for plaid!"

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Picture of the day

Though the United States' new strategy in Iraq has proven effective at routing insurgent rebels, it has done little to relieve the stigma of what many perceive as American imperialism.

Image credit: Thetoastman
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This Uncyclopedia is written in English, supposedly. Started in 2005, it currently contains 37,669 articles. Many other parody wikis are available; some of the lamest are listed below.