Spacebar

“ ”

— Spacebar on Spacebar

Gettingdrunkatthespacebar!

T h e S p a c e b a r , a . k . a . t h e C o s m i c p u b i s a s o r t   o f   i n t e r   g a l a c t i c  p u b.
    It'swherethescumofthegalaxycomeanddrink.
TheSpacebarislocatedattheotherendoftheuniverseastheRestaurantattheEndoftheUniverse.
Theoddmistakentravelbrochuretothecontrary,thisdoesnotmeanthattheSpacebarislocatedatthebeginningoftheuniverse,
since, Guy walks into a spacebar and sitsdown bartendersays whatll ya have guy says control-alt-delete please bartender gives him a dirty look and says we dont serve carpaltunnel here. eithertemporallyorspatially.Theyareownedbythesamecompany,IntergalacticHospitalityGroup,(whoalsoownthePlutoHilton).

EverybodyknowsyournametherebecauseeveryonewhogoestheremustchangetheirnametoSusan.

Thespacebarwasdesignedtobethelongestpubinthegalaxy,farfarlongerthanyouraveragepunykey,toattractmoreclientelle.Itisasadfactthatpeople stillmissitswhereaboutsandendupdrinkinginlowerqualitydrinkingholes,liketheescapekey.

Computerspacebar

Hejustcan'ttypeproperly.

Thespacebarisakeyonacomputerkeyboardthatstopswordsfromcrashingtogether. Whenthishappensitcanbeveryawkwardtoreadthetextandcausesdiscomforttotheviewer. Thespacebaristraditionallyplacedsothatitcanbeeasilyaccessedbyeitherhand,orbyeitherthumbinthecaseoftouchtyping. Itisuniqueinbeingtheonlykeyonthekeyboardthatcanbereliablyoperatedbycats-theirpawsaremuchtoolargeforeveryotherkeyandusuallyenduptypingthingslike

uoikj

or

erd5f

a

Manypeoplesuggestthatopposoblethumbsmakepressingthespacebareasier,thoughmanystudieshaveshownthatthisissimplynottrue. Thisisnotparticularlysurprisingasthistheoryismainlystipulatedbycats,thebastards.

SpacebarisaletteroftheEnglishAlphabet.Spacebarispronunciationofthe28letterofthealphabet,#####.Itisalsooneofthemostusefulkeysonthekeyboard Itislocatednexttothetimebar.

SomepeopleareunabletousethespacebarastheysufferfromBrokenSpaceBarDisorder.

SpaceBarisalsoacandybar.Itconsistsmainlyofemptyspaceanddoesn'toffermuchsatisfactiontothetastebuds.3/10.

TheSpacebarisalsoauniversalsemencollectorandmarketingployformicrosoft,asitoftengetsstuckbetweenthekeysandyouhavetobuyanewkeyboardbe causetheoldoneistoogummedup.

Now,pleasehammeronthespacebartocontinue.Spacebarabuseispunishablebylawandyourlogicalsentincewilllooklikea10yearoldtypedit.

PresidentSpaceBar

SpaceBar,bornBackspaceBarrShiftkey,wastheVice-Presidentfortheever-controversialEscapeKey,whowasthe5thand20thpresidentoftheUnitedStates.Aftertheconclusionofhisterm,BarspentsometimeattheBettyFordRehab CenterandtheHalliburtonBoardofDirectors,arecreationalcomplexforex-vice-presidents.

TheLife,Times,andDividesofSpaceBar

Barworkedhardonthefieldoftransmogrification,specializinginthetransformationoffooditemsintoanimalswithspecifictemperaturesandtheconversionof mildlyentertainingrockbandsintoelectronicdevicesandbodyparts,aswellastheatricalpieces,againwithcustomizedtemperatureconditions.Mostnotab lyinhiscareerwerehisworksonhotdogs,RadioheadsandColdplays.

SeveralcompanieslobbiedagainsttheworksofSpaceBar,includingMicroSoft,AltaVista,BlauPunktandHoneyWell.Duringhistermasvice-president,healsoenduredadiplomaticcrisiswiththeGermangoverment,knownforitsabuseoftermssuchasdieRidikulouslongwortanddasWirdontlikensp acen.

FunfactsaboutSpaceBar

• Hisfavoritenumberis42.
• Middlesonoffourbrothers:Alt,Space,AltGrandEpsteinBar.
• BrotherofBeatlesdrummer,RingoShift(néeRichardShiftkey)
• SpaceBaralwaysbinds'Shoot'-actiontotheSpaceBar,andnotthemorecommon'Jump'-action.
• InSovietRussia,barspacesYOU!!
• OneofthreepeopleinAmericabelievesthat'Spacebar'isachocolatebar,INSPACE.
• Spacebarispronouncedspa-SEE-bah(specialthankstoMicrosoftSam)
• providesapleasurablefeelingwhenyoupressit
• InventedbyWilliamWordsworth
• Itisthelongestkeybecauseithasasuperioritycomplex

QuotesOnTheSpacebar

“Whatdoesthatbiglongthingatthebottomofthekeyboarddo?”

~ SomeGuy

“Whoooa!Thislongthingatthebottomofthekeyboard'ssurenice!”

~ Anotherguy

“That'swhatshesaid”

~ SomeGuyonthepreviousquotation

“That'swhereIwenttocelebratetheApolloMissions.”

~ NeilArmstrongonSpacebar?Oh,it'sa u--Igetit.

“Help!Myspacebarisbroken!”

~ SomeGuy

“Hey!_A_new_use_for_the_underscore_key!”

~ SomeGuy, five seconds later

“Ohno!Thatbroketoo!”

~ SomeGuy,fiveminuteslater

“Hey!AAAnewAuseAforAeveryAkey!”

~ SomeGuy,fivehourslater

“”

~ SomeGuy,fivedayslater

SpaceBarIsNotSpaCebar

ManyhaverumoredthatSpaceBarisinfactSpaCebarbutthosepeopleareprettydrunkmostofthetimeandalsothinkDouglasAdamswroteHamlet.

$SpacebarA.K.A.alt+0160$

Seealso

• BrokenKeyboard
• TenForward
• SpaceShuttle
• UnPoetia:SpaceBar

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