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Today's featured article (new every day) Okay, so this article is all about Bat Fuck Insanity. I think. Looking at such a thing from a meta sense, you get a long, in-jokey history involving vandalism, cleanup and pure insanity. Looking at such a thing from a proper sense, you get insanity, with bats and sexual intercourse. The term comes from the Latin Defleitermousix Fornix Propheticia, but all I ever wanted was the hostel, and she wouldn't give it to me and they just keep on buggin' me and it builds up inside, IT BUILDS UP INSIDE, just like a bad case of BAT FUCK INSANEEEE! In other words, you shouldn't be here. Bat Fuck Insane will now throttle you for such heinous crimes. One of the first cases of bat fuck insanity in recorded history was that of Gregorius Androgynous, who went bat fuck insane in the year 103 AD. He devoured himself, starting with the head (which he roasted with shallots and pinion nuts) and continuing with the BAT FUCK INSANE tripes, which he pulled from the stump of his own neck. "Gurgghggh!" he said calmly – in classical Egyptian no less. His friends, Romans, countrymen and other passers by were horrified as his decapitated and partially disemboweled body strolled around the Forum and attended baseball games at the Coliseum. Finally the Senate approved his execution and they hurled a hopelessly insane Gregorius into the Defleitermousix Fornix Asyluminatica for the unforgivable crime of drinking white wine instead of red wine while eating himself. There he flinged whilst attempting to stuff Fermat's Last Theorem up a stoat (a weasel is totally different, honest). (Full article...) Recently featured: UnNews:Colombia Protests Exclusion from Eurovision; USA Joins in Support User:Y UnScripts:Quentin Tarantino's Teletubbies Archive · Vote for featured articles · Did you know... *... Jared Leto fucked your bf and he totally enjoyed it? ... that you have probably broken at least three of the Ten Commandments just by visiting this website? ... Jared Leto fucked your bf and he totally enjoyed it? ... that you have probably broken at least three of the Ten Commandments just by visiting this website? ... Jared Leto fucked your bf and he totally enjoyed it?	In the news Donald Trump is the first convicted President of the United States The Kremlin: Vladimir Putin "totally didn't participate in a Pride parade, nothing to see here.." Donald Trump found GUILTY ON ALL CHARGES (Pictured), soon to debut "prison orange" business suit Antarctica becomes embroiled in upside-down flag controversy Michael Jackson comes back to life Justin Bieber gives birth to a baby, baby, baby, oooh Switzerland wins Eurovision Netherlands disqualified in final shocker YouTube is dead D.C. stink-bombed by Jihadists and Nazis Colombia Protests Exclusion from Eurovision; Britney Joins in Support Ship captain who wrecked Baltimore bridge defeated by Upstate New York bridge NFL imposes speed limit and bans trick plays Forecast calls for a leapin' Lousy Smarch weather Larry David gets Hinkled by Anti-Israel Protesters Taylor Swift's favorite NFL team wins rigged Super Bowl, big whoop Elon Musk plants brain chip into first human guinea pig Ongoing: Russian Invasion · Drake-Kendrick Lamar feud · Israel-Hamas conflict Recent deaths: Roger Corman · Drake's "whole mans career" · Dabney Coleman · Kabosu · Richard M. Sherman (Disney musician) · Doug Ingle · Bill Walton Upcoming deaths: Kris Kristofferson · Jimmy Carter · Vladimir Putin · Richard Simmons · Kate Middleton · Market demand for Tesla cars · Drake's sanity On this day... June 11: Ontological Empiricism Day 1770 - Captain James Cook wonders whether the Great Barrier Reef actually "exists", or is simply a bundle of sense-data, which is "perceived" by most to be a coral reef. 1922 - The Society of Post-postmodernism declares Ontological Empiricism shallow and pedantic. 1945 - The last day Kyle was seen.... Have you seen Kyle ? 1963 - A Buddhist monk, promoting his new line of fireproof clothing, performs a public demonstration by setting himself on fire in a crowded Saigon street. 1980 - Republican attempts to redraw Delaware's 4th Congressional District inadvertently lead to the first Shiba Inu elected congressman! He hates women. 2007 - The inventor of Ontological Empiricism is punched in the face by God. 2015 - A massive mudslide doesn't kill several dozen poor people in Bangladesh.
Today's featured picture Exodus 32: 15 And Wilde turned, and went down from the mount, and the two tables of the testimony were in his hand: the tables were written on both their sides; on the one side and on the other were they written. 16 And the tables were the work of God, and the writing was the writing of God, graven upon the tables. Image credit: Zombiebaron. Zombiebaron. Zombiebaron. View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images
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Writer and Noob of the Month Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so. Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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